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Post by joseph0501 on Mar 18, 2009 21:20:04 GMT -8
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Chuck Norris does not go hunting because hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
And one for Richard:
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character of 24 but was replaced by producers when he killed every single terrorist and saved the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.
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richard
Republican
Bacon!
Posts: 1,412
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Post by richard on Mar 19, 2009 5:44:25 GMT -8
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Chuck Norris does not go hunting because hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
And one for Richard:
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character of 24 but was replaced by producers when he killed every single terrorist and saved the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds. That's a good one. ;D
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Post by joseph0501 on Mar 31, 2009 16:23:52 GMT -8
Chuck Norris's calendar goes from March 31 to April 2. No one fools Chuck Norris.
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Post by jon on Apr 1, 2009 15:34:38 GMT -8
Top 10 Anti-Chuck Norris Facts
2. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He lies awake in regret.
5. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may not realize how much he's actually aged.
6. Chuck Norris attempted to count to infinity. Backwards. He didn't know where to start.
7. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the chance of success. Chuck Norris wanders around aimlessly with a gun.
8. Chuck Norris' blood type is AK-47. The gun. It is compatible only with bullets. Chuck Norris is full of holes.
9. Chuck Norris is 1/8th Grand Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man drives a Jeep.
10. In fine print on the last page of the Farmers' Almanac it notes that annual rainfall figures do not include the tears shed by Chuck Norris, and the figures listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has gotten to subtracting out such overwhelming excess.
11. There is a double chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. No wonder he doesn't shave.
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Post by googoodan on Apr 1, 2009 16:33:07 GMT -8
You've been roundhouse kicked in the head too many times when your top 10 list contains 11 items.
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Post by amyinpa on Apr 1, 2009 16:33:57 GMT -8
You've been roundhouse kicked in the head too many times when your top 10 list contains 11 items. LOL!! ;D
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Post by joseph0501 on Apr 1, 2009 17:41:10 GMT -8
One for Transformers fans:
Chuck Norris once made love to a woman in the cab of a semi. Someone, one of his sperm worked its way into the engine. We now know this semi as Optimus Prime.
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Post by jon on Apr 2, 2009 15:51:51 GMT -8
Chuck Norris taught caterpillars how to turn into butterflies.
Chuck Norris never learned to swim because his family's gene pool was too small.
Chuck Norris once attempted round house kicking Jet Li. His leg broke when it connected with the television, then he fell and broke his hip.
Chuck Norris tried to touch MC Hammer, but got burned.
Chuck Norris' brain cells cure cancer... too bad he doesn't have a brain.
Chuck Norris was the one who took a bite out of the Apple logo. Not because he was hungry, but because he hates Macs.
When Chuck Norris completes a push-up, he does not actually move all the way down, it's the Earth moving up and punching him in the face.
Chuck Norris wears a size 2 ballet slipper.
Chuck Norris claims he is "Ms. New Booty."
Chuck Norris always judges a book by its cover.
Chuck Norris always sleeps 8 hours a night, and can be caught cat-napping several times a day.
If you bother Chuck Norris during Grey's Anatomy he'll, like, totally be pissed at you for weeks.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa her smile. It happened when she saw Chuck naked.
Chuck Norris is trying to bring back the "fanny pack."
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